Here's the question: Who has it better? The one who takes off on a business trip every few weeks or the one who stays home with the family?
It's a loaded one - I know. So we'll use lists and we'll figure this out right here, right now.
ADVANTAGES OF BEING THE CORPORATE ROAD WARRIOR:
- You stay in a hotel so you don't have to clean up and you get to throw your towel on the bathroom floor (that would not go over well at home).
- You probably have a few meals on your own so you can just chow down and not have to answer the questions "How was your day?" and "When are you going to (do that thing they have been asking you to do for weeks and they think if they ask you enough, it may just get done)?"
- Taking off and reaching altitude. Then ordering a cocktail and savouring the thought that no one can reach you until you touch down.
- Flirting. I'm not saying you've done it or you are doing it or you are going to do it but you might do it and that in itself is exciting.
- When you get into your hotel bed, you can just go wild with your feet and legs and you can move the sheets and the comforter to your side and no one is going to yell at you. The pillows are all yours as well and you know what that means? You can build a fort and no one will ever know.
- When you return home you get to say "I've been away - how do you expect me to have taken care of that?"
ADVANTAGES OF BEING THE ONE WHO STAYS HOME WITH THE FAMILY:
- You get to complain about how you end up having to do everything and your mother says, "I know, know."
- You call your friends to tell them you are solo for the week and you want to get everyone together and go out for dinner to that place with the really great appetizers and apple martinis and at first they are all excited and everyone is coming but one by one they drop off because they can't get away so you call your mother and you go to that place that serves fish and rice and well it's not quite the same.
- Your kids identify you as the one who takes care of everything - the one who cooks for them and helps them with their homework and lets them have sleepovers and gives them lifts and they appreciate all that you do. Okay, that doesn't happen. Instead they identify you as the one who stayed home and gets to say NO for a week. So there is no real advantage here but I am going to keep this in the list because I fear I may not be able to make it long enough.
- You get to have the bed to yourself and there is no annoying person next to you hogging the blankets (or building a fort which could have a whole other twist if you do it together and that would make this advantage list longer).
- If you order Kentucky Fried Chicken, there will be more pieces for you. You see the advantage is that in ordering the Family Bucket/Package Thing you are short one family member (who is away on business and clearly has a better advantage list). This also means that you get to have their neon green coleslaw in that little Styrofoam cup.
- You get the bathroom to yourself and no one is throwing their towel on the floor (wait I thought they only did that in hotel rooms...hmm..)
- The moment they walk through that door, you just look at them and say, "It's your turn to stay home, I'm out of here. The kids haven't eaten or done their homework. The dog hasn't been walked. The laundry needs to be done and oh...you need to pick up a bucket of KFC (they thought they'd fool us with that whole acronym thing that doesn't define the "F") and YOU CAN HAVE MY COLESLAW.
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